Babar and the Acolytes
by ColdFusion180
Summary: The Acolytes talk about a beloved, well-known elephant and discover something new about Magneto.


**Babar and the Acolytes**

"I'm telling ya mate, coconut lemon jam is the best jam to use in peanut butter sandwiches," Pyro declared wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"I do not agree. I like mango apricot jam better," Piotr said as worked in his sketchbook. "It has a more pleasant texture and does not overpower the peanut flavor so much."

"Whaddya talking about?" Pyro looked at him. "Coconut lemon jam doesn't overpower the peanut flavor. It blends and compliments all the flavors perfectly! Who could possibly resist the combined taste of peanuts, lemon, chocolate and coconut?"

"Chocolate?" Piotr repeated. "What chocolate?"

"The chocolate in the peanut butter of course," Pyro said. "Duh!"

"Ah," Piotr nodded.

"Course it doesn't really matter what kind of peanut butter you use," Pyro went on. "Coconut lemon jam goes well with all of them! Cinnamon peanut butter, honey peanut butter, pickle peanut butter..."

"Don't forget pepper," Remy added entering the kitchen. Piotr was seated at the counter while Pyro rummaged through the refrigerator occasionally pulling out something to sample. "Are you two still debating about peanut butter?"

"Nope. We're debating about the best kind of jam that goes with peanut butter," Pyro explained.

"Oh, well in that case blackberry jam wins hands down," Remy said opening a loaf of bread. "Especially when you're working on a subway."

"What kind of work would you being doing on a subway?" Pyro asked.

"The one that pays the best," Remy grinned wiggling his fingers. "By the way, Mags said you are responsible for cleaning up the kitchen today."

"What?" Pyro protested. "But it's Sabes' turn to do it!"

"Sorry. Mags sent him out on a mission to steal some sort of top secret gizmo or whatever," Remy informed him. "He told me to tell you you'll be cleaning up instead."

"Awww," Pyro pouted. "Why didn't Mags send you out?"

"Apparently he lost a bet to Sabes about something and Sabes won the right to take the mission," Remy shrugged as he made himself a sandwich. "I didn't hear the specifics. Personally I think Sabes just wanted an excuse to go out and hit a bar."

"Now why would he want to go and do something like that?" Pyro asked as he ate straight from a can of whipped cream before casually setting it on fire. The can began to hiss and shake so he tossed it out into the hallway where it exploded.

"It's a mystery to me," Remy finished making his sandwich and took a seat. He noticed Piotr drawing in his sketchbook. "Whatcha' working on there, _homme_?"

"Hmmm? Oh, I am trying out a new drawing style I discovered," Piotr said looking up. He shifted slightly and held out his sketch book.

"Hey, look at all the elephants," Pyro chirped as he closed the refrigerator and looked at the drawings. "All round and grey and waving their funny trunks everywhere! Ya know they look a lot like that one elephant Babar."

"Babar?" Remy repeated. "You mean the one who goes around wearing a crown and a green suit?"

"Yeah, that one," Pyro nodded.

"That is because it is Babar," Piotr informed them. "Or at least the drawing style is based on him. I was watching TV the other day and happened to see the cartoon. I found it quite interesting."

"Really?" Remy raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"Well, the style is both simple and flexible," Piotr explained. "It uses relatively few lines to create a wide range of scenes and expressions that are both pleasant and appealing. And the characters in the show are pretty cute too."

"They sure are!" Pyro smiled pointing at the drawings. "Especially that little one with the funny wig and big glasses!"

"Really? He is one of my favorites too," Piotr said.

"Oh brother," Remy rolled his eyes. "Looks like preschool is back in session."

"What?" Piotr looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"This," Remy gestured at his friends. "The two of you fawning over a bunch of silly children's characters and acting like little kids."

"So? What is wrong with that?" Piotr asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" Pyro echoed.

"Never mind," Remy waved them off and took a bite of his sandwich. "For a minute I forgot who I was talking to."

"Okay," Piotr shrugged and went back to sketching. "I really like the way the elephants' trunks are drawn. You would think they would interfere with the drawing of their mouths, but the artists blended them both together perfectly."

"Especially when they smile," Pyro squealed. "It makes them look so cute! Looking at Babar gives me such a nice warm, safe feeling inside. The drawings almost make me want to go and read the book."

"There is a book too?" Piotr blinked. "Does it have pictures?"

"I think so," Pyro nodded.

"Good. I would like to see them and study the drawing style," Piotr smiled. "And I would like to read the story."

"Yay!" Pyro cheered. "Sounds like fun!"

"What are you two, three years old?" Remy asked munching on his sandwich. "Next I suppose you'll be checking under your beds for monsters and asking for a nightlight."

"Na, I already have a nightlight," Pyro waved. "I make it myself out of fire every night before I go to sleep."

"Well that's one way to save on electricity," Remy quipped. "And it automatically goes out the minute you drift off."

"I still do not understand your attitude towards Babar," Piotr frowned at Remy. "Is there something about him you find unpleasant?"

"Yeah, what is it Gambit?" Pyro asked. "Don't you like elephants?"

"Only if I don't have to live or clean up after them," Remy finished the rest of his sandwich. "But that's not the point. Babar is meant for little kids! Don't you find the idea of elephants talking and wearing clothes just a little unrealistic?"

"Well that's easy to explain," Pyro waved. "Babar and the rest of the elephants are obviously mutants."

"Oh no, not again!" Remy groaned. "Pyro the elephants are not mutants!"

"Of course they're mutants!" Pyro insisted. "How many other talking and car driving elephants do you know?"

"And Babar could be for more than just kids," Piotr pointed out. "People of all ages could like Babar and consider him special. Even the elderly."

"Yeah right," Remy snorted. "What kind of white-haired old fogey would be obsessed about Babar?"

"Here you all are," Magneto growled as he hovered into the kitchen. "What are you fools doing this time? You better not be thinking about playing with clam chowder again!"

"Don't worry, we aren't," Pyro assured him. "Me and Colossus are just arguing with Gambit about Babar."

"Babar?" Magneto blinked. "You are talking about Babar? The elephant?"

"Yeah," Remy admitted. "I know it's a dumb and stupid kiddie topic, but..."

"I love Babar!" Magneto exclaimed. His face took on a very childlike expression. "I remember when those books were first published. When I was young I could not get enough of Babar and his adventures with his little animal friends!"

"Huh?" Remy blinked in confusion.

"Of course that was before we were persecuted and sent to a prison camp and all our belongings confiscated," Magneto sighed. "I never saw any of those Babar books again."

"Awww, that's so sad," Pyro sniffed.

"I agree," Piotr nodded sympathetically.

"I did buy new copies years later when Pietro and Wanda were little," Magneto went on. "They always enjoyed it when I read aloud to them. Especially when I gave each of the characters their own funny voice."

"Now that is something I would have liked to see," Remy smirked. "You don't happen to have any home movies of those times, do ya?"

"I always dreamed of growing up to be just like Babar," Magneto had a misty look in his eyes. "A wise king. Protector of his people. A benevolent ruler. Bringer of culture, technology, civilization, prosperity, peace..."

"And an ego that can stretch from here to Mercury," Remy quipped quietly.

"You'd think Mags would see himself more as a rhino than an elephant," Pyro whispered. "More aggressive and with a horn on his head instead of a bucket."

Magneto was too indulged in his own thoughts to notice their comments. "Babar is such an influential character. And the books are very important too. They practically predict the coming of mutants and tell what they must do in order to save themselves as a species."

"Huh?" Piotr blinked in confusion. "How do they manage to do that?"

"Well just think about it," Magneto said. "The books show a human hunter going around and killing off every animal in sight just because they are different! That is exactly what is going on between humans and mutants right now!"

"Well the hunter did just see the elephants as animals and not equals," Pyro thought.

"They were not animals! They were **superior**!" Magneto shouted. "The elephants could do everything the so-called 'civilized' humans could do such as talking, building things and driving cars **in addition** to their greater natural abilities such as hearing, strength and incredible nasal dexterity!"

"Okay," Piotr blinked. "You do have a point about that."

"The elephants were superior to the humans in every way!" Magneto pressed. "And when they needed a leader they chose the greatest among them in terms of ability, knowledge and personal magnetism. Someone with brains, someone with vision, someone..."

"Like you?" Remy supplied.

"Exactly!" Magneto said. "Just as Babar was made king of the elephants, so will I become the king and leader of all mutant kind!"

"Yeah right," Remy snorted at Magneto's boast. "Like that could ever happen."

"I certainly hope not," Piotr muttered.

"But what do any of those Babar books have to do with us?" Pyro asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Magneto snapped. "Because of their persecution and suffering at the hands of human hunters Babar and the other elephants in the books can be considered as mutants!"

"Aha!" Pyro shouted and pointed at Remy. "See! See! I told you the elephants were mutants!"

"Oh geeze," Remy groaned.

"Yes, Babar is the perfect role model for a great leader like me," Magneto smiled. "I always wanted to be just like him."

"You mean fat, big eared and with a long drooping nose?" Pyro asked.

"WHAT?" Magneto roared.

"I have to admit the description fits," Remy snickered.

"It fits Magneto more that it does Babar," Piotr whispered. "Babar is smaller in the waist."

"I HEARD THAT!" Magneto yelled. Dozens of large, sharp knives and other kitchen utensils flew out from the drawers and pointed dangerously at the Acolytes.

"Uh oh," Piotr gulped.

"Now boss," Remy tried to keep his voice steady. "Remember you wanted to be like Babar, right? All kind, and calm and understanding?"

"Yeah," Pyro's knees began to knock. "You wouldn't turn us into a bunch of poor, mutant pincushions, would you?"

"Oh no," Magneto's eyes gleamed in anticipation. "I have a much **better** use for you. A use that will help me fulfill one of my lifelong dreams once and for all!"

"Uh, what dream?" Remy gulped nervously. "Boss? Why are you looking at us like that? Boss? Boss?"

* * *

><p>"Well that took longer that I expected," Sabertooth growled as he pulled into the garage of the Acolyte base. He dismounted his motorcycle and headed down the hallway. "I knew I should have gone to Snuffy's instead of Shep's after getting that high tech doohickey for Magneto. The fights are better and so is their selection of beer."<p>

Sabertooth stopped outside Magneto's private office and pounded on the door. "Hey, I'm back!" He cursed when he didn't get a reply. Sabertooth then used his enhanced hearing and picked up Magneto's voice coming from the Control Room. He immediately headed towards it. "Okay, boss. Here's that stupid tech thing you wanted..." Sabertooth trailed off and stopped frozen in the doorway in shock.

"Ah," Magneto smiled as he sat comfortably in a throne-like command chair. He was wearing a plain gold-colored crown along with a very nice green suit. Also in the room were Remy, Pyro and Piotr all of whom were dressed up in soft, cuddly elephant costumes. "Now this is what I call a nice day. Don't you agree Gambit?"

"Yes," Remy sighed while standing next to him.

"Yes, what?" Magneto put a hand to his ear.

"Yes...King Magneto," Remy cringed.

"That's better," Magneto smiled as Remy poured him some tea. "How is the new personal banner I designed coming along Colossus?"

"Good," Piotr sighed as he worked on a large banner draped across an easel. He was having trouble painting it due to the fingerless elephant costume. "I should be finished with it soon."

"Ahem," Magneto prompted.

"I mean, I should be finished with it soon...your majesty," Piotr mumbled.

"Excellent," Magneto smiled. "It will look splendid held aloft from the top of my latest statue.

"Mmmppphhh!" Pyro muffled as he stood frozen in a graceful yet awkward position while perched on a small pedestal. Metal restraints inside his elephant costume kept him fixed in place while a small gag kept him quiet. "Mmmfff mhhhe mmmooppph! Mhhhy mmmottta mmmamppph!"

"Ah, it is good to be the king," Magneto grinned and sipped his tea.

Sabertooth stared at the sight for a few seconds before turning on his heel and walking quickly back towards the garage. "That's it! I'm outta here! This whole place has gone absolutely nuts! I'm going back to the bar and I'm staying there until I see a pair of pink elephants fly by in a big yellow balloon!"

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or Babar.<strong>


End file.
